Beams, Bars, and Belov
by irrevocably ives
Summary: He can’t stand to see her with anyone… But yet he won’t be with her. She can’t date but has a complicated love life. What will happen? Will he be able to stay away? Will she sort things out? Will he let her in? Will she want him?
1. Chapter 1

**Bars, Beam, and Belof**

**A/U: Okay, Hi people! I just wanted to say a few things….**

**So I kinda got this idea from Life with Derek (yes, the Disney channel TV show!) But don't judge, even if it does sound really stupid. But whatever! The only reason I said that is because Casey and Derek have like wayyy to much sexual tension for a show that is supposed to be watched by like nine or ten year olds! Lol. But it's the same with Sasha and Emily… or at least in my world. Lol. So if you're going to read this, for arguments sake can we just go along with it? Kay? Cool! **

**But anyway, moving on… I thought I would just say that and blah blah blah… So, a little bit about why I won't be updating as much as a good person should. I'm writing two other stories… So just yeah. Don't hurt me too much! Lol. **

**But then again if I get like a bunch of reviews I might update a little more often! : P **

**Oh and thanks to SpringSinger, she was my beta considering I am re-editing this and it wouldn't even be half this good if she hadn't worked her magic on the first chapter!**

**Summary (Full): When it's meant to be you just know. So when you know that and want to stay away what's wrong? **

**He can't stand to see her with anyone… But yet he won't be with her. She can't date but has a complicated love life. What will happen? Will he be able to stay away? Will she sort things out? Will he let her in? Will she want him? Read and Review! Please! With shattered pasts, broken dreams, and hurt hearts, will they be able to console eachother? **

**Chapter One: Scotch, Gin, and Emily Kmetko. **

I, Sasha Belov, was falling in love with a student despite promising myself that I never would. Why? Because I had given up on love, just as love had given up on me.

_-Flashback-_

_**Walking into O' Reiley's Pub just like any other day in L.A**__. __To the average person I looked cold, distant and cruel. But I wasn't an average guy, or even a normal regular at the pub._

_I was Sasha Belov. _

_World renowned gymnast. Olympian. Gold medalist. Failed coach. _

_I lived on the countryside of the L.A hills in my trusted camper. Up there, no one bothered me, and I didn't bother them. It was an unspoken agreement between my neighbors and me. _

_I always go out at night to ensure that I won't be recognized_. _But, when_ _I am recognized, people stare and gawk cause' they know that I will refuse to talk to them. They only think they know me. They have heard of me, probably researched me, but they know nothing. They don't know why I left the sport and that's the way it is always going to be. _

_That night, the pub was quite lively even though it was only 10:00 PM on a Friday night. Looking over at the bar, I noticed that it was very full. I slithered in between a very large man and a girl before sitting down, not realizing that the seat had been saved for another._

_The girl to my left turned and I immediately noticed her cobalt blue ruffle dress. She had short dark brown hair and navy blue eyes, with a hint of brown in them if you looked close enough. She looked me up and down, locked eyes with me for a moment and sniffed before turning back to her drink. No words were exchanged. _

_Just a sniff. _

_It wasn't like I smelled badly or anything. I had just taken a shower before I left my camper and was wearing a clean pair of distressed jeans and a simple t-shirt I found in my closet. I was clean!_

_Looking over these small facts, I finally glanced back at the girl sitting beside me. I mean, I really and truly looked at her. She was quite beautiful. A small girl though. Tall in size but very thin and petite. She had long strong legs. A delicate frame. Toned calves and strong built shoulders. With muscles on her arms. I knew in a minute that there was no mistaking that this girl was a gymnast. _

Perfect..._Sasha frowned._

She will recognize me, and start asking questions… Bringing up topics I have not even been able to understand myself. _He thought bitterly._

_But maybe that was what the sniff was about. Not because of the way I looked, but who I was. My mouth went dry just thinking about these thoughts. _

_Noticing that I was without a drink, the bartender brought me my usual, but I waved it away. _

_"Gin." I croaked out. "Straight up." The bartender walked away muttering something incoherent under his breath but brought me my Gin, none the less. _

_After taking a small sip of the liquor, I opened my mouth to say something but the pixie like girl spoke before I could. I was cut off, beaten to the punch, before I even swallowed. _

"_You know that seat was saved." She stated not breaking eye contact with the scotch she was drinking. _

_Powerful stuff for such a small girl. _

_She turned and looked at me as she set the glass of amber liquid back on the coaster. _

_I didn't even know this girl and she was already insulting me and telling me to move. _

_Anger bubbled up inside of me as I kept looking at the side of this person's face. No way was she going to get off that easily!_

_I had a whole speech thought up in my head, planned on what I was going to say and how I was going to say it. But one look into those eyes and my anger vanished. All I was left with was … uncertainty? That was one emotion that I had vowed to never feel again. But there it was… coming back again…_

_All that I managed was a pathetic before turning and looking for an open seat, "Oh, sorry. Would you like me to move?" _

_There was a considerably drunk man on the other side of the bar getting up, so I reasoned that if I hurried I could very well grab the seat before someone else did. I stood, grabbing my Gin and was in mid-step when I felt delicate hands on my upper hip, causing my member to stiffen considerably. Not enough that she would notice, but enough that I would._

_I looked back and saw that Pixie girl had stood as well. "I never said I didn't like you sitting next to me." She said as a saucy grin appeared on her face. "You are immensely cuter than who I was waiting for anyways." She spoke nonchalantly and I caught a hint of cockiness in her voice. _

_I turned back around and sat in my old seat. Her tiny hand was still on my hip, so I quickly plucked it off and set it in her lap. My hand completely covered hers. It looked like a monster in comparison._

_I adjusted myself while she turned to take a sip of her scotch. _

_This girl, whom I had just met, had too much effect on me… way more than I liked._

"_Ahh, so we are going to be cocky now? What makes you think that I want to sit next to you anyways?" I asked, just as cockily. Possibly even more than her. I had gained the upper hand in this battle! Looking down at Pixie girl, as I had been calling her, I watched as a sly smirk played the corners of her mouth. She saw me starring at her from the corner of her beautiful eyes and blushed a little. _

_"Cocky? Yes, yes we are." She stated calmly. All hints of a blush had vanished off of her face. Once again, she had that same crooked smirk decorating her delicate face. _

_As I began to answer again, somebody came up and hugged the girl. __My__ girl. Anger bubbled up inside me for the second time that night. But, before saying anything I looked at the person hugging Pixie. It was a woman. She looked much like Pixie except older. This woman whispered something in Pixie's ear and she laughed, eyeing me, through the woman's hair. God, she had a musical laugh. Like a bell. The other, older woman looked between us with raised eyebrows and quickly left._

_Pink now tinted Pixie's delicate cheekbones. And, on her pale skin, the blush was noticeable immediately. _

_She answered before I could. "Sorry. My 'friend.'" She spoke, air quoting the word 'friend'._

_I smiled softly, and simply nodded my head in understanding. I opened my mouth to speak, but got cut off for the millionth time that night. I was beginning to become a tad bit frustrated. But, this time instead of getting cut off by Pixie, I was rudely interrupted by the older woman and three or four others calling Pixie over to sit with them. Pixie obediently obliged and grabbed her scotch and tanqueray, starting to walk away. _

_I quickly and fluently grabbed her arm before she could get to far away from me._

_"Wait", I spoke urgently. _

_She spun around at the sound of my voice. Maybe I had the same effect on her as she did on me. _

_"Do you have a name?" I asked, a smile playing at the corners of my mouth. _

_And then, she said the one word that will forever be burned into my brain. "Emily." Her voice was soft and quiet. _

_As she walked away, I watched her ass move from side to side. And only when she had been swallowed up by the crowd did I let myself whisper her name._

"_Emily."_

_-End of Flashback-_

My eyes snapped open as I had realized where I was. I had this day dream every so often when I was alone and let my mind wander. But this was not something that should happen when I was on a bus to Nationals with all of my gymnasts. What if I had mumbled something? I would be fired in a second and I'd never recover from this.

I could keep myself at end, though, watching her that is. Being her coach. But if something were to happen so that I couldn't train her anymore, I don't think I could live.

Again, I realized where I was and how wrong all of these day dreams were. Because these daydreams didn't end where the flashback had ended, they ended sometime later... they ended in fantasies. Me on top of her… at The Rock… in her bed… in my bed… in the shower…

_Sasha, STOP! Censored thoughts. It's not like she even feels the same way. And it is oh so wrong. Maybe in another situation it wouldn't be as wrong. But this situation is was totally and completely wrong._

But that one word I was thinking could NOT be thought. That one word that meant so much could mean nothing, and I mean nothing.

Why? Well that is a simple question. Dear Emily Kmetko, as I later found out was her name, was indeed a gymnast. My gymnast.

After that encounter I went back to that same pub every Friday for a month, hoping to just get a glimpse of the infamous Emily. How long ago that seemed. But, I never saw Emily at that pub again or any other for that matter. That is, until I started coaching at The Rock… She was the reason I took the job. Every time Lauren's father had tried to get me to coach at The Rock I had said no. That is, until Emily. So, I took the job in hopes that I could see her compete some time.

After arriving at The Rock… That's… That's when I saw her. Emily. I saw her at The Rock. She trained here. I was going to be her coach. She was going to be MY gymnast.

So those startling revelations leave me where I am now. Later, I found out that Pixie girls' full name is Emily Chloe Kmetko. She is 16 years old, and on scholarship at The Rock.

When I first spotted Emily in that gym, my whole world came crumbling down.

But luckily for me, she didn't seem to remember our blasted night at that bloody pub or she wasn't letting on that she did.

So, again that leaves me here. Sitting in the back of a decked out bus, by myself, on our way to Nationals in Boston. But that's not the only thing I'm left with… I have an Olympic bound Team… Hidden feelings… Hidden wanting and…

"Sasha?" an all too familiar voice questioned.

I inwardly flinched, because I knew that I would never have my way with this beautiful girl in front of me.

I plastered on a fake smile that she could see right through. "Yes Emily. What's up?" I asked.

Even though Emily didn't remember our night at the pub… She was very perceptive and could tell when someone was faking and when someone was being real. Which could come in handy I guess… But not when you are trying to be as cold as stone to someone that you are infatuated with…

She did that cute little nose scrunching thing before hopping over my legs to sit in the seat beside me. She was to close for my own good. If I didn't stop thinking about her I might do something that was very much against ethics…

She started talking but I couldn't pay attention to what was coming out of her mouth because I was too busy trying to keep my mind from wandering. She knew I wasn't paying attention so she stopped and waved her hand in my face.

The same hand she had placed on my hip…

_God, Sasha snap the fuck out of it! Just go fuck somebody else. It will keep your mind of Miss Kmetko over here._

"Oh sorry Emily. What do you need again?" I asked, distracted by her light pink colored lips.

_I wonder how they would feel on my… Sasha stop! Get your mind out of the fucking gutter!_

"Well Sasha, I was wondering as team captain what I'm supposed to do." She asked, biting her pretty pink bottom lip at the end.

I was dazed for no more than a few seconds. But it was enough for Emily to notice something was on my mind… Fucking her was on my mind…

"Oh well that's fairly simple Emily. Why didn't you just ask Payson? She has been team captain many times. I'm sure she would know what to tell you." I said shaking all thoughts that didn't pertain to Nationals out of my mind.

"Well…" She trailed off not looking me in the eye.

"What?" I asked with a bit of annoyance in my voice.

"Okay, so I just wanted to talk to you… And… I… erm…" She trailed off again.

But I didn't care.

She had wanted to talk to me! After all of this time! She still wanted to talk to me… I was on top of the world! Wait no… The fucking Universe. The girl I couldn't get out of my mind for weeks wanted to talk to me!

"Oh okay." I said calmly.

She averted her eyes from my intense gaze and rose to her feet. She was mumbling so I couldn't understand her.

She knew I was short tempered today, but yet she chose to mumble and I burst. I didn't mean to but I did.

"For god's sake Emily just tell me what you bloody want. I can't read minds and I certainly can't understand mumbling. And why don't you just go and ask Payson what being a team captain is. Cause' she can probably answer you better than I can." I screamed in a soft voice so no one could hear us talking.

We were about three rows back from everyone else though, so it was unlikely that they would here unless they were truly straining. But once the words had escaped my mouth I regretted them, but Emily did not know that. And I almost instantly felt guilty.

She told me that she was sorry but her eyes betrayed her. She was obviously upset and angry that I would say that to her out of the blue. But she had no idea how much self control I needed, to not just jump her and take her right there… In the moving bus…. It was very time consuming and didn't leave much room for a temper. I sighed. Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear before I could get my hand to come back to my side. I let it linger there a little longer than necessary and then looked into her eyes.

"Look, Emily. I'm sorry. I truly am. I didn't mean to be so short tempered with you. I just have a lot on my mind lately." She looked back intently into my eyes as if waiting for me to say more.

But I didn't. She dutifully nodded and turned to look out the window.

She should have left then… Who knew how long my self control could last. She shouldn't have been sitting there anyway; people might start to get the wrong idea. So I did the logical thing that any adult man would do when coveting a 16 year old.

"Emily you shouldn't be sitting with me. Please go sit back down with Payson." I said quietly, secretly hoping she wouldn't hear and just stay.

But being the perceptive Emily that she was, she heard me and looked at me with hurt seeping through her pretty orbs.

"Why Sasha? Why can't I just sit here? I mean Payson's sleeping and I don't want to sit all the way to Boston with a sleeping girl the whole way." She said her voice trembling a little from the utter bluntness I had exposed her to.

Silence enveloped us. Her anger at me for pushing her away and my attempt to conjure up a response made the situation worse.

Finally the silence became just too much for Emily and she burst. "Sasha why are you pushing me away, while getting closer to all the other gymnasts? Am I that bad? Do you hate me that much? Just tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it. I promise, just stop shutting me out!" She said, the anger now evident in her voice.

"Emily I just can't bloody hell deal with this right now! Just go. You are a gymnast and I am your coach. There shouldn't be any sort of relationship between us besides that of a teacher and a student. So just stop trying to be my friend and realize that there is a line, a line that you are very close to crossing."

I almost shuddered at the hardness of my voice. It was a bit harsh. But she got the message.

Oh god, what had I just done? How was I going to be able to fix this before Boston…? Before Nationals? I couldn't very well let her hate me.

I rubbed my hands over my eyes. Realizing that this wasn't going to be easy, so I might as well just let it blow over.

And so I went back. Back to one of the many nights of dreaming of having Emily Kmetko….

**So how was it? **

**Was it okay? **

**Good? **

**Bad? **

**Horrible?**

**Let me know!**

**LLLLOOOONNNNGGG REVIEWS PLEASE! **

**They are my favorite… and I they inspire me to write faster! Lol.**

**-Xoxo-**

**Jenna **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone!**

**Okay:**

**A) I'm sorry I don't update normally, but that's my problem not yours, and thanks to everyone that got on my ass about it… You lovely people must do that if you don't hear from me in over a week or so. Just PM me or something along those lines. Or you can like contact me and be all stalker-like. (E-mail: jenna_dancer_) lol, just kidding. But that would be kinda weird.**

**B) I'm so sorry zelda4ever! I totally didn't know I spelt his name wrong. I will from now one spell it correctly. I promise. I have a thing for spelling people's names wrong. I'm sorry again. Thanks for telling me though. **

**C) Thank you everyone who reviewed though! It motivated me to start writing the second chapter**

**D) And if anyone is a gymnast or knows a gymnast please let me know! And tell them to contact me (e-mail above!) **

**So anyway, now that I am done with my list of why I am a horrible person, (if I forgot anything just add it in your reviews! : P) I would like to say that this is in Emily's POV! Remember? I said possibly opposite points of view? Well, I decided to go with that, so it's Emily's POV right now. I personally like Sasha's POV better, but I felt the story needs both. What do you guys think? **

**And anyway, moving on… So lots of reviews and story alerts! That is a HUGE plus!!! School has sadly started and so has volleyball season (as I've said about 100 times). It's a bit sad. Ask if you need to, but I think it's pretty obvious why it's sad. But anyway, I don't feel like rambling for like a really long time, so here is chapter two! **

**Oh and I'm sorry I didn't put this in business format or whatever, but it really annoys me when I write like that. So sorry: S**

**P.S: In case you havent figured it out yet, this is a bit different from the series… So sorry if you're like one of those people against that type of thing. **

**Chapter Two: Thoughts of….**

Moving away from 'Coach Belov', I felt his bulging sapphire eyes burning desperate holes into the back of my neck. I kept moving though, for fear if I stopped, the tears might come.

Finishing my shameful walk from the back of the bus to my seat next to Payson, across from Kaylie, and kitty-corner from Lauren, I sat quietly earning a head nod from Payson, a wave from Kaylie and a glare from Lauren.

Nothing new there.

Sitting in my isle seat, thoughts of my conversation with 'Coach Belov' as I now referred to him, kept seeping into my mind. As much as I wish they wouldn't, they did. I have done everything to distract myself; I became so desperate I even turned to Lauren to distract my traitor mind. And yet, no matter what I did, his bulging eyes appeared in my head as if he was right in front of me, those eyes kept returning to my scattered thoughts. If I even closed my eyes for a second, those judgmental ones were looking back at me. He pretended to be all strong and mighty and indignant, but really anyone could see that they held a dark past, and so much grief.

Some might call me perceptive, but when you lead a life like mine, you just learn to read people.

We were almost to Boston now, and I had other, more important things to do and think about. I should be focused, preparing, working, and thinking not… not deciphering my coach's eyes.

But as soon as "my coach" was thought in my brain, my mind was drifting its way back, six rows to a golden haired, sapphire eyed man.

Not allowing my mind to wander any further, I thought back to my life in Boulder, Colorado. Brian, my brother was back home there. I had to win for Brian, so he could go to therapy again. He needed to walk again. He never said it, or complained about it, but I knew he hated not being able to walk. Coming closer to Boston, my mind drifted further to Boulder. I thought of the Pizza Shack, the park, The Rock, Sasha's trailer, and Damon Young.

Both of us knew we always had a connection, but so did Razor and I, and Leo and I. Damon know my habits, while Razor, I am, wait was, wait am. I am infatuated with Razor, but he just took off. And then there leaves me with Leo. Kaylie's older, college brother. He understood me, he understood my gymnastics life. He knew what it was like, but so did Sa-_him._ I was not going to give into my mind and think about _him. _ So obviously knowing stuff about gymnastics and understanding it meant nothing.

Slowly, my mind began to drift further back into my past, into deeper memories that I didn't dare think about, except at night, when the darkness is enveloping my mind and those memories surface. But none the less, I thought back to Fresno, Phoenix. Why had we moved to all of those places? For me, for my gymnastics. Not for Brian, or even my mother. But for me. Selfish me. Not able to think of anybody else but me. As I was thinking harder about my past, my selfishness, my families sacrifices, the bus lurched forward giving out a low moan, hissing all the while. Almost immediately I went flying into the isle, only to be caught by two strong arms clasping my waist, before hitting the ground. Looking up, I already knew who it was. Meeting the gaze of those two blue moons that had been haunting my memory, that seemed like hours ago. Worry creased his face and I quickly jerked away from his touch, like his hands were on fire and burning my skin, before he could even utter a word. As I could tell he was trying to read the emotions that were being portrayed in my eyes, I disguised my expression with a despiteful scowl. Looking out of the corner of my eye though, despite myself, I saw his eyes visibly sadden.

Grabbing my duffel bag that I had previously put above my seat, shouldered it and practically sprinted off the bus and into the hotel. Lucky for me, almost everyone had already exited off the bus and was in the lobby of The Hilton.

Mrs. Keeler, or Kim as she preferred to be called, was getting our room keys. I quickly walked in through the revolving door, and automatically looked around to find Payson, Kaylie, and Lauren.

Payson was painfully wedged between Kaylie and Lauren, so they wouldn't kill eachother. While Kaylie was shooting death glares at Lauren. I quickly jogged over to where they were sitting in the lobby. I quickly positioned myself between Payson and Kaylie.

Getting comfortable on the tiny couch, I really looked around for the first time.

Discreetly looking around the lobby, I noticed that it was beautifully decorated and the marble floors gleamed, almost making your eyes hurt. But the girls didn't seem to be impressed, so I kept my observations to myself.

Not soon after I decided to keep that information to myself, Kim walked over with our room assignments. Turning to us first, she said "Okay girls, your rooms are in a conjoining suite on the 16th floor, I'll let you guys decide who is rooming with who." She said with a knowing tone in her voice, then handing each of us a room key.

Kaylie and Lauren were in some sort of predicament, which I didn't care to understand, so I jumped in and said I would share with Lauren. Although I'm pretty sure it was visible in both of our faces, we didn't really want to, but we plastered on fake grins and bared it for Kim and Coach Belov's benefit. Mostly Kim's benefit though.

All agreeing, we went up to our suite. It was even better than the lobby! There were two king size beds, a balcony, and a fully stocked kitchen/wet bar! This place was better than my house, and not to mention probably bigger too. It must have been quite a site to see, considering the next thing I knew I was getting shoved into the granite counter by the wet bar. Turning around, I saw my "attacker", Ms. Lauren "the bitch" Tanner. "Never seen a room this big Trailer Trash?" She sneered as her bleach blonde head headed towards the bed by the French doors. I didn't answer her, but ran to the bed by the French doors, which she was headed to with her enormous suitcase. I felt, and looked like a little two year old, but clearly Ms. Lauren wasn't expecting me to do that since her mouth feel open in a small 'o' shape with eyes fixed to kill.

The phrase "If looks could kill", comes to mind at time like these.

She turned on her high heel clad foot and stomped out of the room, slamming the door as she left the room. God, that girl has some serious anger issues, I muttered under my breath as I heard her high heels stomp across the corridor, to the door across from ours. When she abruptly stopped in front of it, that's when the pounding started. I got up off of the bed and grabbed my i-pod from my duffel bag that I had moved to the foot of the bed. I placed my ear-buds in my ears so I wouldn't have to hear her whiney little voice from the paper thin walls of the hotel. I felt bad for the poor soul who had to hear her nagging little voice for two hours complaining about how she had to room with me, "trailer trash".

Un-locking my i-pod, "You Give Love a Bad Name" by: Bon Jovi flooded my ears. I quickly changed it to Iron & Wine. It mechanically played in the back of my mind as I went over the motions to my floor routine.

It had been exactly 10 days since 'Coach Belov' changed my music. I still couldn't get used the prissy uptight music that was supposed to make us win. It wasn't my style, my element, whatever you called it, it wasn't me. I couldn't get used to it. The music didn't course through my veins and cause me to feel… something.

Looking at the clock, I noticed that it was close to 10:00 and I was very tired. Since Laruen hadn't come back yet, I assumed she was bunking with someone else.

I got up and un-packed a little, so I could find my huge 1997 Packers Super bowl shirt, which I used as pj's. After brushing my teeth, I turned off the lights and slowly feel into an unconscious state.

_-Flashback/Dream-_

_I had lived in L.A for only a short time, but I quickly learned which places carded, which were exclusive, which didn't give two shots as long as they got their money, and which were total crack houses. _

_I had moved around most of my life, so I could pretty quickly figure these things out without having to be told. Some would say I was a party girl, only being 16 and already being at three raves, drunk numerous times, and many other things I'm quite ashamed of. _

_Most people didn't know these types of things though. They were never recorded, or written down but they were a part of my life. _

_Walking into O'Reiley's, my favorite Pub south of the boulevard, it was quite busy for late on a Friday night. The bar tender knew me, well actually his wife was one of my mother's clients, so I learned quickly that if I went to his Pub he would serve me even though he knew my age, and he knew that I was an elite gymnast that wasn't supposed to drink. _

"_Hey Tom." I said cheerfully grabbing a seat by the bar. There was some live band tonight. They were pretty good, and the drummer was amazing. Drummers were my thing. When I turned 13 my mom took me to my first live concert. She left my mother Brian at home with a friend that lived down the hall from us._

_Those were the good days, when I just did gymnastics for fun and it wasn't for all the money and sponsorships. When we went to that concert, my mom would always kid that she would get the lead singer, and I could have the drummer._

_They became my thing from then on. My first boyfriend was a drummer, but that didn't last. He only knew my life outside the gym. He never knew that I was a gymnast. _

_Tom came up with my usual, a small glass of Miller Light. Since I only weighed about eighty pounds I couldn't handle much alcohol. But I waved it off. _

_We were finally leaving L.A, my mom, me, and Brian. We were moving to Boulder, Colorado! So I could train at The Rock. It was the best gym in the country. Their coach saw me practicing at a playground north of L.A in one of the suburbs. Gym time was expensive and I didn't have any money. It was my only option. He offered me a full scholarship if I trained hard and did the best I could. I said yes. I_

_I remember the only thing I was worried about back then was getting there. That was before reality came into play. _

_Bringing me out of my thoughts of Boulder and The Rock, Tom gave me a quizzical look and asked what I wanted. _

_I might have gotten drunk numerous times, but it was usually with girls from the YMCA were I used to train, and they knew their alcohol, so they usually ordered my drinks for me. So the first thing that came to my mind I blurted out. "Scotch. On the rocks." I said not even thinking how hard that stuff was. _

_I sore Tom's eyes popped out of his head when he heard me say that. But he silently obliged and a few minutes later handed me my drink. _

_I nodded my thanks and turned around to watch the band, but my eyes wandered to the door._

_Walking into O'Reiley's was none other than Sasha Belov. Any gymnast knew who he was. He was the only man to ever beat Marty. Who was the coach at The Rock. _

_After beating Marty, he walked out of the sport. No one knew why, or how. He just did._

_From a distance he looked cold, distant, and cruel. I'm sure though that that was only half of it. Turning to my left and right I noticed that the bar was very full, it was freakishly full. That's when I noticed who was playing. Muse. That's why everybody was here. I wonder why Tom hadn't told me. Thinking again, I thought it was probably one of those underground concerts, considering that they were an England band. I loved Muse though. _

_There was only one seat left at the bar, which Mr. Belov wanted. And that seat was next to me, which I was saving for my mother. He either didn't seem to notice or didn't seem to care. Either way, his sleek, muscled toned body came slithering up to me. I doubt he even noticed me sitting in the seat not 2 feet away from him. I mean I wasn't exactly beautiful, I had short, chocolate brown hair, navy blue eyes, tiny boobs, and a small body. I was average. My gymnastics on the other hand were extraordinary compared to some girls that had been training at top notch gym their whole lives. _

_When he finally fully sat down next to me, I was facing away from him looking like I didn't even notice he was there. Although I was never a good liar and thought for sure that he would notice I had been watching him. But then again, not every day does an Olympic Gold Medalist walk away from the sport at his peak. So I assume he has gotten used to the staring. _

_I slowly turned around and looked at him, noticing that he was looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I looked him up and down giving him the ounce over, one could say and he definatley passed. I couldn't pass up the chance, in case he decided to leave or move, so I looked into his sapphire eyes and sniffed and took a sip of my scotch that sit un-touched in front of me. I have no idea where the sniff came from, but none the less, I sniffed at Sasha Fucking Belov!!! How many people could say that? _

_After I sniffed at him he got a disguisted look on his face like he was angry or smelt something that was gross. I immediately felt self-conscious. _

_His face went through millions of emotions, before stopping at one that I couldn't quit place myself. It appeared like he was nervous, but he had a certain air about him that I just couldn't explain. It very much infuriated me._

_When Tom came back around to get another round of beers, I saw him bring Mr. Belov a Miller Light. Smart man if I say so myself. _

_But he waved Tom's beer off, and croaked out something that sounded like Gin, but I wasn't sure. _

_He seemed extremely nervous before he got one sip of liquor in him. He was about to say something, but instead I spoke first. "You know that seat was saved." I stated, not even as a question, but just as a simple statement. I never looked up to gage his reaction. I thought he would come up with something witty enough to say without me having to egg him on much. So I just stared at my scotch and took another dainty sip. The amber liquid burned going down my esophagus, but I wouldn't let Sasha Belov see me grimace at drinking some hard liquor. _

_Setting my glass back on the coaster, I finally looked at him in the eye, with a sort of challenge, I thought I never possessed before. Looking back at the band playing on the stage, I knew he was going to yell at me, so his response kind of shocked me a bit. I thought for sure he was as witty as they came, I mean after all I have seen all of his magazine spreads, and they always mention his quick wit. But all the great Sasha Belov managed to say was a pathetic, "Oh sorry. Would you like me to move?" Thinking to myself what I knew the answer was, I thought I could have a little fun with him. I mean why not? It could be fun. I'm not really sure though, if it was a lapse of judgment or the scotch talking… But I saw an open seat on the other side of the bar, the same time he did, and as he got up and grabbed his Gin I put my miniature hand on his muscular upper hip and he froze. _

_His already bulging eyes got bigger if that was possible, and I swore I felt him stiffen a bit under my touch, I was standing at this point. He turned around, and I was met with his strong built shoulders. Looking up, I met his eyes ounce again and let a saucy grin play at the corners of my mouth, "I never said I didn't like you sitting next to me." The same saucy grin being visible on my face now. "You are immensely cuter than who I was waiting for anyway." I said with confidence and a bit of cockiness hinting in my voice. _

_Nothing was said between us, but he sat back down, with my tiny hand still on his upper hip. Evidentially he didn't enjoy my hand on his hip, because a minute later, he plucked my hand off and set it carefully in my lap. Almost like he thought I was going to break if he wasn't careful. He let his hand linger on mine a moment to long, and I noticed the incredible size difference. His looked like a giants compared to mine. "Ahh, so were back to being cocky now are we? What makes you think I want to sit with you?" He asked with hint humor lighting up his eyes. But cockiness was clearly evident in his voice. _

_Ha, he thought he had the upper hand. Boy was he wrong. A sly smirk came on my face, that he wasn't supposed to see, but he looked back down and saw it. I internally cursed myself. I blushed a tiny bit at this fact. "Yes, yes we are." I answered lamely in third person. Sasha was about to respond when someone with long curly hair threw their arms around my neck. Looking through the ringlets that were currently obscuring my vision, I could see anger bubble up in his chest for the second time this evening._

_I had to laugh silently, because he actually thought my mother was another guy, or my boyfriend coming to hug me. How funny._

_Soon, my mother let me go of her death hug and whispered in my ear something about how I had a good one or something. She had obviously been drinking before hand. I could smell the alcohol on her breath. I laughed, and he noticed. My mother looked between me and Mr. Belov, raised one eye-brow and quickly left giving me her 'be careful' look. I just simply nodded my head, and knew that I had a pink glow to my cheeks. I quickly explained 'my friends' actions. He was acting very mature and just smiled. Again he was about to speak and this time I was ready to listen, but my mother's friend, called me over to them and to grab her drink from Tom. I obediently obliged, considering it was our going away party. Since we were moving tomorrow. I wondered if I would ever see Sasha Belov again, but I quickly let it go. I grabbed my scotch and the tanqueray that had just been placed in front of me. Tom was giving death glares at Mr. Belov, but I just started walking away without saying anything. _

_A few feet away, I felt someone grab my arm. I turned around curiously, and looked up with an inquisitive look on my face. "Wait" he said. I stopped moving and waited for him to continue. "Do you have a name?" He inquired. I certainly couldn't deny Sasha Belov. So I nodded. He waited for an answer, and I answered with the hint of a smile forming around the corners of mouth, I knew that I had to make it quick though cause' I could feel my mom and her friends becoming impatient. I only spoke one word, but I knew he would remember it… "Emily" I said softly. _

_-End of Flashback/Dream-_

I woke up gasping in a cold sweat.

That memory… That memory symbolized everything that Sasha was to me and everything he couldn't be. That's why it could never be thought about again.

Turning my pillow to the cold side, I looked over at the clock: 1:11 am. Almost four hours to forget that never happened.

If only Sasha felt the same way I did.

**So….**

**What do you think? I know it was pretty short and nothing really happened. But atleast we know how Emily feels now right??**

**So was it horrible?**

**Okay?**

**Reviews are appreciated! And I'm sorry ounce again that I havent updated in awhile but life get's crazy… And wow, I need some sleep! I just like accidentally referred to Hannah Montana!! Scary!!!!! **

**But yeah, whatever. Thanks to everyone who reads this!! It means the world to me! And it's totally worth it, being sick and staying up till like three on a school night to finish this! Lol.**

**Tell me if it was worth it… Or am I just an idiot for doing that?**

**Oh and by the way in case anybody wanted to know… School is totally kicking my ass!!! **

**-Xoxo-**

**Jenna ******


	3. Chemical Burn

**Okay, so I finally broke down and had it all business aligned, I felt bad that you guys were pushing for it, so I'll just write it in center alignment. Fair enough? : P**

**Well I think so, so someone tell me if that's okay.**

**Ahh OMG! Michael Jackson! Inside thing… Our athletic director like yelled at me for saying something about how we should do something about Michael Jackson cause' he died and everything, and then he just like blew up! It was great. He is all like, "I refuse to have Michael Jackson brought into this school because he was a pedophile. And the only reason he didn't get caught was because he has millions and could buy people off." And then I like looked like I was gunna cry and it was pretty funny. Then he is all like "I'm so sorry Jenna, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but why did you like him?" But yeah. Sorry. Lol, Hailey though. Good times.**

**It wasn't that corny, there have been worse incidents! =P**

**But back to the story and such. I'm a bit sad. There were only like five or six reviews. I don't mean to be whiney or anything, but yeah. I'm just saying. But you guys are still loved in my small little town, oh and by my friends! : P Otherwise I would be like all sad, and a sad Jenna is pretty depressing, they would know.**

**I like got a bad grade on my science test and my friend thought she would have to like do something stupid to make me smile again. That's how bad it was! I know what you guys are thinking, but yeah. I'm just giving examples. But the grade wasn't even that bad. It was like a 70/100. Okay, so maybe that's bad, but my science teacher is a great guy, just not the greatest teacher!**

**Is it bad? Well whatever.**

**Oh and Savannah, you know who you are, thanks for all of your help with routines and stuff! I'm probably gunna add them in the next chapter or something. I don't know though. And also, thanks for answering all of my dumb questions. You will have to give me some good leos to use too! : P**

**Who else do I have to thank??? Mhm…**

**Oh yeah thanks diavoloduchessa for liking the bar scene! It was like the main focal point of the whole chapter, so I'm glad someone liked it!!**

**Itachi94, I'll try my best, but I can't promise anything. Sorry. I wish I could, but at the end of October a lot of my free time will be back, so I'll have more a chance to write. So let's hope the end of October comes soon. ******** Not really, but you know what I'm getting at. But I'm glad you like the story and want to read more! It's a very nice compliment… I think.**

**Stacy thanks for your help as well! You'll have to give me some ideas for Leos and such. It's amazing that you are able to do gymnastics! Jealous! : P Oh and New York here I come! Lol… in 2011! : P**

**Oh and also Rebecca, I'm sorry, but like I said before I don't exactly have a lot of free time. ******** Sorry. But how about I try to update like every weekend. Is that okay? Cause' I mean that's when I do most of my writing anyway, so it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Sound okay? Please say yes! Lol. And it's not that well written. It's actually really bad, but whatever. Thanks. I tried to make it fairly realistic.**

**Again, I know that people tend to read stories with more chapters, so I will try. But like I said above. Could it be like every weekend? Cause' I have no time during the week. It's all school, sports, family, and work. Do you get my dilemma? Sorry… Once again.**

**So, now that that is over, I'll get on with the story or technically chapter. But that's beside the point.**

**Sasha's chapter!!! Yay *does happy dance***

**Chapter Three: Chemical Burn (inspired by my friend's story! Check it out!)**

Wrestling with unwanted thoughts in my tired mind, I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. My dilemma with Emily had kept me awake. She just couldn't understand. I wouldn't let her understand. I would talk with her today though, I would fix this. It would be okay. It had to. It just had to.

Having driven all night, we were just passing the border of Massachusetts. Looking out my window, I saw the sun rising up from the west. Never really appreciating the sun, I watched it make its grand entrance into this messed up world. Creeping up on the world, I watched the sky turn from a deep orange, to a crimson, bright pinks and yellows, and then suddenly it was all over.

Everything was over in a heartbeat. It was just like gymnastics, one false move, and it was all over. Your career, your life, everything. Your life's work could be crushed in a second. Just like your heart.

Thinking of how true these words were, I quietly crept up three rows, nine seats to see the one person that made my life okay. That kept me sane. She would never know, and that is okay, but she didn't have to. If she was as perceptive as I ounce thought she was, she would have noticed by know.

Tip toeing forward, I reached her seat, expecting to find a peaceful girl, deep in sleep, but I saw _my gymnast_ wide awake watching the sun rise. I wonder if she knew the double meaning of the sun rise too.

_Sasha what the hell are you thinking? She is just a fucking child. She could never understand._

Before Emily could see me watching her, I fast walked back to my seat. But before I turned on my heel, I swore I saw her look at me. Mumble my name. But she couldn't have. She just couldn't have. Physically impossible for to notice me standing there. Watching her like the fucking pervert I am.

Sitting back down, I knew how true those words were, but yet how wrong they were too.

Yes, I did have _Fe_..._Fe… _I had something for Miss Kmetko, but I wasn't acting on those feelings, so as long as I didn't act I wasn't really considered a pervert, was I?

That's just it. I'm not.

_Sasha you must remember the fine line between pervert and… and well friend._

Of course. I just have to remember that and I would be fine. I had to be fine. Emily Kmetko was the only thing keeping me here, if she left, so did I.

But nobody could know my ulterior motives. Damn, I needed a fucking shrink, or a stiff drink.

Stiff drinks. One more thing that Emily Kmetko had ruined for me.

Damn girl, I wish I could hate her, I really do. But I know I never could. I might fight and yell and scream my ass off, but I could never physically or mentally hate her… or be upset with her.

Kicking her out of my gym almost killed me the last time. That night she came to my trailer sopping wet, I thought I would die right then. My self-control was weak and my patience was low. Her, she, I… There were so many things wrong with that scenario, it wasn't even remotely right.

Then when she trusted me… She let me catch her, something changed between us.

The lines between coach and wanting to fuck her were already a bit blurry for me, but after that night… I just, she let me in.

Emily Chloe Kmetko let me, Sasha Belov in. I wasn't just someone that could leave her and she could get over it, but if I left, her perception of men would become even stronger.

That night, I hugged her a little tighter, held her a little longer. That night, I knew I was infatuated with her. I wouldn't be able to get my mind off until I fucked her brains out, but was it turning into something more?

Usually I can get over a person, distant myself, put up a wall, but with her it was different. We were… we were so much… alike. Yes, alike, she was me and I was here. Except I was a man where as she was a girl… my girl, my gymnast… my world.

_Alright then, Sasha, somebody needs to get a grip on the fucking world. It doesn't revolve around you… Despite what you think._

And Emily isn't your girl.

The sun was up in the early morning, and everyone was waking up. Hearing the tired yawns coming from the front of the bus, I got up to stretch too, acting as if I as well had just gotten up. While in reality I had been up at 3:00 watching _her _sleep, not physically, but I imagined, or morning dreamed if you will.

Sasha, you must stop this. This sick thing you have going on in your mind, I thought grimacing inwardly. It really was sick. I had to get help. MJ would be at this event, maybe she could help me out.

But I knew subconsciously I would only be able to come when I thought of her. But whatever works I guess.

_NO! Not whatever works. It's wrong._

I reminded myself for the millionth time.

We were about half an hour out of Boston, and would arrive very early. The girls would have time to un-pack and settle in before opening ceremonies.

As good of time as any to get everyone prepped and aware. Nah, I think they understand, they know what is going on. Even Em… Miss Kmetko understood. I wouldn't say her name, for if I did those beautiful eyes would appear in my mind and I would never be able to sleep.

Closing my tired worn out eyes, I saw a picture of _her _flash before my eyes. She was even haunting my dreams.

Lurching forward, I felt the bus hiss and roll to a stop. We must be there. Looking around it was basically just the parents and _her_ left on the bus. But she seemed to not notice, now is my chance to talk to her. I quickly gathered my small duffel bag and fast walked up towards her seat. At the exact moment I reached her, the bus gave another lurch. She came crashing out of her seat.

Out of instinct I grabbed her before she could crush her butt bone. I couldn't stand to see my angel hurt. She looked up with a disgusted look on her face. Just like the look in the bar. I thought silently, something in my chest squeezing. But still, I could feel the worry come over my face. My eyes slightly bulging even more, looking her dead in the eye. She knew I was trying to place the emotions in her eyes. They always deceived her, or usually did. It took a certain talent to mask even your eyes, and Emily Kmetko was learning quickly. Before I could identify any emotions though a scowl came over her face ounce again, and she jerked away from me. Almost as if my hands were on fire, scalding her skin.

One thing ran through my mind as she exited the bus though: I had to fix this before Nationals. Before she went out there. She was already worried enough, that much I knew. Even if she wouldn't tell anybody.

After Emily left, I made sure everyone had everything off the bus, and then joined Kim on handing out room assignment. Emily wouldn't meet my eyes. But I could tell she felt my gaze on her at all times, she had that tiny blush she got when someone was looking at her for long periods of time.

It slowly came down to four girls: Payson Keeler, Kaylie Cruz, Lauren Connor, and _Emily Kmetko. _Being the nice girl that she was, Emily volunteered to be roomies with Laruen. Poor girl. Lauren was a bitch, and her father was worse. I knew that and I wasn't supposed to be prejudice being a coach. But every coach was.

I got my room assignment as well and lucky me it was right across from Lauren, Payson, Kaylie and Emily's suite.

Getting my room key I opted for the stairs. The elevator was already crowded and I couldn't stand being in that small of a space with Emily and not do anything. _Self-control Sasha. _My subconscious was working overtime and once again I needed to control myself. That's all it was, self-control, but self-control came easier said than done.

After walking up three floors, I finally made it to my room, it was nothing spectacular. I had a nice view, not that I would be able to enjoy it.

As the day wore on, painfully slow, I thought back to when things were simple. When I was a gymnast. The only thing I had to worry about was winning, training and fucking MJ, to keep her happy.

But I didn't have time, because the next thing I knew I had a coaches meeting down in one of the conference rooms. Time just flew by when you were having momentary flashbacks.

This time as I walked out of my room, I saw Lauren, Kaylie Payson and Emily tip toe out of their room. "Girls where do you think you're going?" I asked my voice coming out a bit mangled as I was buttoning up my dress shirt for the meeting.

They slowly turned around waiting for Emily their team captain to save them. She held a scowl on her face as she turned to address me, and I felt bad for calling them out on it. She mumbled something un-intelligible. I completely missed what she said and asked her to repeat it. "Tampons!" She yelled. I tried not laugh at the logic of her statement. These girls were gymnasts. They couldn't have their periods, and I would know if they did. As wrong as that sounded it was true. So instead I smirked at her, at Emily. At the horrible liar that was Emily Kmetko. "Alright, just tell me. What's in the bag then?" I said nodding my head in the duffel bag that Payson and Lauren were desperately trying to hide behind Kaylie's back. This time to my surprise Emily didn't speak. It was Payson. "Kelly Parker's head." She said softly.

"Okay, whatever. Just don't stay up to late now girls. Big day tomorrow. And Emily, if you have time met me for breakfast tomorrow morning, around 4:30 am." I said walking away giving each of the girls a stern but semi-playful look.

But my invitation to met Emily for breakfast stuck. Throughout the whole meeting my mind kept flashing to her dark, dangerous eyes. I couldn't believe that my thoughts were going to her eyes. They were just eyes. Used for seeing, and deciphering peoples emotions. I shouldn't be thinking of them, of hers. It's wrong, that phrase had been in my head a lot lately. But is there really a wrong or right for everything?

**And on that note, I would like to end the chapter… I'm breaking the cycle though. The next chapter is going to be Sasha's again, cause' I need to finish some stuff. But on that reciprocity, what did you think?**

**It was really bad I know, and not much happened, but I figured you guys could use an early present on Halloween!!! Oh, Happy Halloween by the way! Halloween is like my favorite holiday, so yeah. What is everyone doing? **

**But back to the story… So as the chapter ended: Is there a wrong or right for everything? **

**I would love to hear your thoughts. And I'm sorry if this totally sucks, but please tells me. And tell me how to make it better!!!! Thank you! You guys know I appreciate all of the feed back!! **

**-Xoxo-**

**Jenna **

**P.S: Everyone should be happy… IT'S ALL IN ALIGN LEFT!!!!!! Thought everyone should notice that, so they can finally be able to read it in peace!!! **


	4. Chapter Four

**Hi guys! No, I didn't fall off the face of the either as it may have seemed! But yeah, sorry. Things have been fairly hectic and such, but before going on into the next chapter I would just like to take a small moment to say some things!**

**Alright, first, thanks to everyone who reads and reviews!!! You guys are amazing and this story wouldn't continue without ya'll! (: Also, thanks to everyone who has this story under alert or favorites! I'm glad to know that you guys enjoy the story!**

**Secondly, thanks Crystal (who is from China), for reviewing! Business alignment means when it is all lined up to the left, like it is when you (normally) read it off of fanfiction. While center alignment is when the words are in the center of the page, does that help at all? And actually, I may sound extremely dumb, but I have no idea what a jargon is! Lol. So anyway, on with chapter four!**

**This by the way is in Emily's POV, didn't feel the need to wreck a perfectly good system!**

**Oh and plus just in case, this chapter might get a little graphic, so please no flames because I warned you!**

**Chapter Four: Coincidences at Two am.**

Walking out of our room, all thoughts of earlier encounters were pushed to the back on my mind, but at that very moment the person I was pushing from my mind, the person I was trying to forget walked right into my life. Right into my line of vision, actually. Sasha Belov. He was the cause of all of my problems, and I didn't even know what I did wrong. What the problem was why he was such a bitch all of a sudden? It didn't add up… and yet it totally did. My face paled to a pasty white color and I started walking faster, quickly leading the girls down the hallway towards the elevator bank, but he was faster. He was quicker, more perceptive than even I gave him credit for. He knew that I didn't want to talk to him that I wanted to avoid him, so what did the bastard do? He crept into my life, he acted like my coach. Nothing more. That's how it should be. My conscience screamed at me. Was it really so wrong to be in lust with your coach? To want something you can't have? Yes Emily that is what common people call coveting. The annoying little voice spoke in my head again. What was I, going delusional now? I thought bitterly. In that instant I noticed that he had come over, he was questioning everyone, interrogating everyone, except me. So I spoke up. Everyone knew that Kaylie couldn't lie to her coach, it was physically impossible for her too, but hadn't she lied to everyone for months about dating Carter? Maybe she could lie a little better than we all thought.

But I pushed that thought, running away from your problems- or others problems, from my mind as my own personal demon was facing me, expecting an answer. "Tampons." I mumbled softly, the three girls around me heard though, because they were holding back their giggles behind perfectly manicured hands. They knew just as well as I did that we didn't have our periods. He asked me to repeat myself, and his voice sounded like soft velvet, and made me tingle. But his voice hurt too much, and looking up at him I knew he was mocking me silently with his knowing look at the other three girls. I didn't want to have to deal with him; I just wanted to go have fun with my friends. Couldn't he understand that? Evidentially not, because his piercing blue gaze looked at me expectantly, the mocking emotion still staring me in the face, like a slap that was left stinging upon impact. "Tampons!" I shouted at him, as I turned away my face burning from the humiliation of it all. But he was already on to the next phase of destroying my enjoyment, looking at the gym bag that Payson and Lauren were trying to hide (ineffectively) behind Kaylie's back, but she was too small to hide it. "What's in the bag?" He asked, pointing to the bag still ineffectively trying to be hidden. Turning around in a huff of anger, I was going to respond, but Payson beat me to the punch. "Kelly Parker's head." She mumbled looking at the ground, he thankfully let the subject drop and just went on to lecture us about how we had to be ready and prepared for tomorrow, make The Rock proud or some bullshit like that. I blankly tuned him out and focused on getting to the elevators, which were fortunately behind my lector. At the end of his speech my mind was abruptly brought back into the future though. He wanted to have breakfast… with me. I was at a loss for words, the obvious answer was yes, but after what happened on the bus I wasn't so sure anymore, but I just numbly nodded like the idiot that I was, making the whole experience feel like an out of body one. My body was there, but my mind was thinking to the way he acted on the bus. How he was so angry, aggressive, violent. But he was still my coach, and I owed him that. But my reaction was too late. He hadn't noticed me nodding my head yes, he simply left to attend some sort of meeting. But again, I didn't read too much into all of this, I couldn't read too much into this. I wouldn't...

Standing stunned for a few moments, Lauren brought us all back into reality with her slightly nasally voice. "What was that shit about?" She asked, her dull, light blue eyes filled with a bright fire awaiting my answer. But I would not give her the satisfaction of an explanation, so I just mutely shrugged my shoulders heading towards the elevator bank that was now safe to go to, considering a reasonable amount of time had passed since Sasha had occupied the area, but yet waiting for the elevator, I swore I still smelt his sent lingering….

As I walked still slightly stunned and not responding to a word of chatter behind me, Payson finally broke through my resolve which Lauren had done nothing to squelch, since commenting on Sasha's bipolar moods. "Guys, seriously just stop, she is after all the team captain." Payson said with a hint of aggravation in her voice, but giving me a small, comforting smile as we locked eyes in the shiny metal reflection of the elevator doors, waiting for them to open.

At a snail's pace, the bright shiny doors opened to reveal Kelly Parker, panicking I turned to look at the other three girls behind me who had successfully stashed her gym bag this time.

Strutting towards her room in a bit of a panic, Kelly glared at us as if we were small puppies that would quack in her presence, but the joke was on her this time- even if she was unaware of it yet. As she passed, we all gave her sickly sweet smiles exchanging a knowing look as we finally entered the confined space of the elevator lift.

The silence was defining to my ears as I listened to the annoying elevator music, considering this time, nobody was willing to break the silence. So there, in the elevator we stood Lauren and Kaylie on opposite sides of the elevator and I and Payson stuck between the two, listening to some jazzy elevator music. Finally as the silence was becoming too much to handle, the elevator doors chimed open announcing our entrance to anyone who was waiting for the elevator in the lobby.

This time I was the one to break the silence, as I realized that the others weren't going to budge without someone at least trying to make conversation. "Alright so what are we going to fill this sucker up with?" I asked deviously with a glint of mischief in my dark blue eyes. Entering into the gift shop, we flashed the manager of the gift shop our dazzling smiles, needing no further explanation and quickly got to work grabbing everything inappropriate and vulgar we could find.

It took us all but three to maybe four minutes to grab at least two of every product that was deemed 'inappropriate' for an elite gymnast to carry in ones gym bag, now the only problem was giving it to Kelly Parker, or rather Kelly Parker finding her bag without looking at it. But the girls seemed to have figured it all out, already flashing their visas while Payson and I simply sat, waiting for them to finish buying everything. This, unfortunately for me, left time for me to think back on things that had been plaguing my mind for days now.

I thought back to the days in Los Angeles, specifically the night in the bar where I met Sasha Belov. His eyes then seemed so mysterious, so haunting, so intriguing, that they held a hidden story, or secret that had never been shared. But now, thinking of the months that had passed since I had moved to Boulder and found out Sasha was my coach now that Marty had mysteriously disappeared for some unknown reason, they had changed. Changing from the warm, blue liquid, to hard aquamarine stones like they were now, I couldn't help but to think what I had done wrong. What had made him want to distance me, it's not like anything happened that night oh so many months ago in the bar. It was just two people sitting at a bar drinking hard liquor together.

I remembered the way it was almost perfectly though, that night, that one fateful night that had forever changed me.

When I had walked over by my mother and her friends with Tammy's drink, I was automatically asked who the man was, but I played dumb, not wanting to draw attention to the man that I had been in love with since I was eight years old. So instead, I said that I didn't know, I just simply said he took the seat I was saving for my mother. Of course, since they were all slightly drunk they believed the bogus story.

The one thing that stuck out in my mind thinking back on that night though was the way that all through the night, I kept sneaking glances at Sasha from the bar and he was staring at me, not looking the least bit ashamed, but every time I looked at him my face would get a little pinker.

Trying to remember more details of that night, I found I couldn't, it was like I had put up a roadblock as not to revisit painful memories. And the memories I did remember were slightly fuzzy around the edges seeming like I was looking at a note as the ink was bleeding together from the rain.

But as I was trying to divulge my memories I was jostled back into reality as I felt my arm being tugged up by Payson as Lauren and Kaylie were sprinting out the door. As I looked back, I realized why. Sasha had come in looking for something and we couldn't be caught here when he was. He would surly find out and foil the plan we had worked so hard to come up with.

SESESESE

As the time was approaching two in the morning, I was still wide awake on my side of the hotel room I was sharing with Laruen Tanner. Looking over at Laruen, I heard her faint snoring and knew she was knocked out cold— not literally of course, metaphorically. I was thinking of going for a late night swim, or a soothing shower, but knew that neither were going to resolve my jittery body nor frazzled mind. It would be two more hours and I would have to met Sasha, I really should try getting some sleep, but knew that there was no way it was going to happen. So instead, I did the one thing that always calmed me down.

Slipping on a pair of dark denim skinny jeans and a sparkly black tank top with an obviously fake leather jacket over it and my red high heels on my feet, I exited the hotel room. Quickly, I left my room, making sure to have money, my room key, and my fake id. I didn't know the local hot spots or anything, but knew I would be able to tell ounce I got in the right area, and the northern side of Boston was obviously not that area.

Silently, although it was obvious by the low glow of the hall lights that nobody in their right mind was up, I crept to the elevator bank, going down to the lobby and hailing a cab to go downtown. The cab driver didn't hesitate when he saw my attire and quickly went to the destination I had asked of him. He dropped me off at a sleazy club that obviously didn't card or care as long as they got their money, because for the sole reason he knew I was underage. I paid the man and generously tipped him for the help that he had bestowed on me.

Making my way inside the club, I instantly felt at home. It was much like the old pub in L.A., but slightly more modern and infinitely busier. As the bouncer waved me in, I made a beeline for the bar, snagging a seat as an obese man vacated it. But I noticed to late who it was next to: Sasha Belov. Once again I thought someone would have noticed who was sitting there, but nobody had.

The whole scene from L.A. came flooding back to me, all the fantasies I had had, all of my dreams, everything I would have said, could have said, should have said… They came to the front of my mind and it was the only thing I could think of, but my head was reeling and I needed to sit down, so begrudgingly I sat next to the sapphire eyed man that had kept me at bay for so many months.

At first I knew he didn't notice who had sat down next to him and by the time he did, I immediately saw his dilated pupils and knew he was drunker than a skunk and would probably not care in the slightest. Looking at his drink of choice, I noticed it was Gin. Just like the first time we met, I thought silently, calling the bar tender over who didn't even ask for an id as I asked for a scotch. Noting that Sasha took an interest in my choice of drink, nothing like reliving old times, I though sardonically.

As the bar tender set my small glass of scotch before me, I gave him the few dollars that I owed and took a small sip, enjoying the burning liquid that I hadn't tasted in so many months. I could feel Sasha's eyes boring into my neck as he saw me take a sip. It really did feel like that night so many nights ago, but I would not let that night be relived, I came here to get away from Sasha, not to be met here by him. I was getting up, ready to go out on the dance floor and forget about this man that seemed to be everywhere, but was stopped by his hesitant hand holding my wrist back. In a fit of anger that even when he ignored me all the other times he would not let me go this time, I spun around to meet his soft eyes looking at me timidly. But his voice came out as a crock, like he had been smoking and drinking Gin all night long, "Always surprising me." He said cryptically as his eyes became hard jewels again. How could this man just sit there, one minute looking so vulnerable and the next being a complete asshole? In all honesty, I had no idea.

Slowly, I set my drink down and looked at his pale hand still clutching my jacket disdainfully and slowly pried his fingers from my wrist and grabbed my drink. "Really? Well isn't that nice to know." I spat, my voice taking on a dark tone that surprised me. It was almost like Sasha was no longer my coach as I left him sitting in his stool, just like last time.

As I made my way into the middle of the dance floor, I let the music take control and just danced. I had closed my eyes and just started dancing, the base of the music was very loud and some guy had come up behind me and started grinding with me. It was very cliché, and slightly disgusting but I allowed it.

Slowly I turned around to see who I was dancing with and saw he was a young guy not much older than I was with shaggy blonde hair and soulful blue eyes. I smiled at him as I took a sip of my scotch again, not breaking eye contact with him. Turning back around I broke eye contact with him and we began dancing again. His grip on my hips began loosening and I craned my neck to see what he was doing, but his arms encircled my waist and pulled me closer to him. Normally I would have left but for some reason I stayed, allowing him to do this to me. I was not sure if it was the fact I knew Sasha was watching this act or the fact that I had drank too much scotch for my tiny body but either way I was not objecting to what he was doing. Although somewhere in my mind I knew this was wrong. But again, I just let the music over take me.

The music kept flowing and at some point I had closed my eyes again and we just danced for the longest time. I was numb and I loved that feeling. I loved that fact that no one was there to tell me I couldn't do this or I couldn't do that. It was just me and soulful blue eyed guy in the middle of the dance floor.

When I finished my scotch the boy who I had been dancing with took my empty glass and went to get me another. In this time I kept dancing by myself until I felt someone behind me, not dancing or moving, just staring and I immediately knew who it was. His eyes were piercing even if I wasn't looking at him, I could feel them. My senses were heightened and I would not give this man the satisfaction of knowing that I could tell when he was around me. So I kept dancing, keeping my eyes shut tight.

I could feel his breathing on my neck, still acting oblivious of the man behind me. Sasha began to speak and I held my breath, still stubbornly keeping my eyes closed. "What the hell are you doing?" He asked pulling my small body to his. I danced silently against his strong body not answering his question. This only seemed to make him more determined to get me to talk. "Do you know what it was," but he abruptly cut off and grabbed me by the upper arm as if I was some petulant child and stormed me out of the club causing my eyes to pop open.

"Let me the hell go Sasha," I said venomously, trying to loosen his grip on my arm, but he was not budging. "My damn eyes are open. I'm speaking. Is that not what you wanted? Let me go back now." I said this time slightly less calm, but still royally pissed at him. Just then a cab pulled up and I was pushed inside it while Sasha closed the door, telling the cab driver to take me back to the hotel. Before the cab driver pulled away though I told him to wait and got back out of the cab. "What gives you the right to tell me what to do? Where to go, that I have to leave huh?" I screamed so that he would be able to hear me, and indeed he did. In two long strides he was in front of me, pinning me to the car so I was unable to move. "What right do I have?" His voice low and husky as his eyes made contact with mine, a shiver went down my spine. "Ms. Kmetko you are my gymnast." Sasha spoke in his thick accent, making the word gymnast come out gym-_nasst_. "You are underaged and I could have your hid at The Rock, but I won't." He said lowly into my ear this time, making my hand itch to slap him, but I kept my emotions in check not letting him see how much I wanted to hit him, wanted to yell at him. When it appeared he was not going to say anything else, I moved my head so it was right by his ear to speak. "I never asked to be your gymnast." I said between gritted teeth as I pulled back and watched his eyes flash with rage while I got into the cab he had hailed for me.

SESESESE

I arrived back at the hotel at 3:45 am, just in time to go take a shower and get ready to meet with my wonderful head coach. When I go back into the room, I was aware that I smelled like cheap cologne and cigarettes along with a horrible taste in my mouth left from the aftertaste of scotch. Slipping into the shower unnoticed by Lauren who was still dead to the world, I quickly got cleaned up getting rid of any traces of where I had gone to last night.

When I got out of the shower I still had a few minutes to throw on some clothes and put on some light make-up before I would actually have to get ready for Nationals. Digging through my suitcase I found the first thing that was clean, quickly throwing it on as I combed through my hair.

Arriving in the café area right at 4:00, our designated time I didn't see Couch Belov anywhere to be seen. Casually, as if it were normal for a teenage gymnast to be up this early, I grabbed a large cup of black coffee and sat down, waiting for my coach to arrive. Fifteen minutes and two cups of coffee later, Sasha Belov rolled in looking like he had gone through hell and back again. I smirked at his tired expression and worn out eyes. It seemed like he had forgotten about our little meeting, so I thought I would remind him. "Umm Coach Belov…" I said trailing off as if nothing had happened last night. As if he hadn't made me want to hit him and kiss him all in the same moment. "We had a meeting this morning. 4:00 am if I remember correctly." I said smiling at his blank look.

AS he dazed expression became recognition I smirked again, but once again he did not notice. "Ahh yes Emily, you are correct. I'm just surprised to see you up this early in the morning, _considering._" He said with his own smirk on his face this time.

"Ahh well yes, one would be surprised wouldn't they." I said, challenging him.

"Well anyway, why are you here so early?" He asked the obvious question because I just remembered that we were meeting at 4:30 am.

"To be early is to be on time and to be on time is to be late." I said automatically, although he was not on time either, he was 15 minutes early.

"Alright, about why I wanted to have breakfast this early, you see…" But he trailed off, instead coming from a different approach. "Would you like to get something to eat first?" Sasha asked nervously, biting his lip while getting up to go get in line and obediently I followed him.

I grabbed two small cornbread muffins and a piece of toast to eat with peanut butter spread on it. "So now that we have this lovely food, what did you want to speak to me about that you couldn't possibly say in front of Payson, Lauren, and Kaylie?" I asked a bit rudely as I nibbled on my cornbread muffin.

Sasha heaved a sigh before speaking, rubbing his eyes as if he was trying to figure out the right words to say. "My behavior on the way here was unacceptable. I am sorry; you caught me at a bad time. I was just extremely stressed and sleep deprived." He said, as if that explained the ignoring and the distancing and everything else, but I just silently accepted everything as how it was.

"That's fine. I am going to go get ready for today. Thank you for explaining that to me." I said that as I got up and left my untouched food on the table, across from my coach.

As the elevator doors closed, I knew two things for sure:

I was going to kick ass at Nationals even if my personal life was slowly crumbling and nobody knew

I was going to forget that I wanted Sasha as more than a coach.

**The End of Chapter Four! (=**

**Okay so it's kinda short and I am not sure if I like it or not but please review!!! Oh and all the errors are my fault so sorry. But any who, please review whether you liked it, hated it, loved it, or resent me for pairing Sasha/Emily together!! (=**

**So… does anybody like the way the story is going? Please let me know! I would love to hear from you guys. And sorry for not updating on a regular basis, I am a horrible updater and I know, but please forgive me and don't take it out on the chapter. **

**-Xoxo-**

**Jenna =)**


End file.
